This is me. The real me.
I was born in Bucharest. My first memory related to me is when my fathers car broke and we were stranded in the middle of the city, with me covered in a towel and my mother holding me in her arms… though I don’t remember exactly why was I covered in a towel in the first place.
I had a brother which was 10 years older than me, but we’ll get to that later.
So my life started, my parents got me in a english based kindergarten. I remember my teacher …. she was a red headed, green eyes, milky skin and very slim, I loved her…. of course like a kid loves a person when he really likes that certain person. Moving on, she showed me what being polite means, how to make a differences between good and bad people, how to learn good stuff and not do bad stuff. She was awesome let’s be serious, I still follow her way of being and what she tought me. You know that quote “time flyes when you’re having fun” ? God damn those three years passed like lightning, I felt really bad when it was over and school had to start. But hey we all grow up don’t we?
I remember my mother taking me to a school and talking with the mam’ in charge over there, she was the kind of woman you didn’t want to fuck with I swear to god. She was the type of female character that you can see in her eyes the fucks she didn’t give if you were crying, getting hurt or whatever (yeah I had a very fucked up imagination when I was little, although I think we all had that). So my mom talked with that demonic woman, and asked her to get me in starting this year (99′). Guess what I did! My world collapsed, I was fearing for my life.(not quite but whatever, let’s be honest when we’re little, we’re scared of our shadows or weird noises).
First day at school! Oh the joy! I remember being scared as fuck. I just stayed 1cm close to my mother, and didn’t want to let her go. I had to let her go and meet my new collegues. Oh the joy again, 32 new kids, 32 people I didn’t know. Well we all go through that sooner or later, people meet other people, my brain didn’t want to process that during that period.
Everything goes as a normal school goes, random fights between collegues, some good and bad grades here and there.
Fast forward two years. 15th of july 01′
Middle of the summer, me and my family(moms, pops, and bro) came back from a awesome vacation at the sea side. Two weeks of doing nothing were divine.
26th of July 01′ 2:30 a.m
I hear my brother smashing stuff around his room, cursing and hitting the walls. I woke up from my sleep, go to his room and asked him what’s wrong. He was literally just standing there, he stopped whatever he was doing. He came close to me and said:
Hey lil’ bro, my boss called and I have to go to work, go back to sleep bro and we’ll talk soon.
Tapped my forehead and smiled at me.
So I did, because I always trusted my brother and he was everything to me.
I did the biggest mistake of my life that morning.
Before we go on let me tell you a few words about my brother. He was as tall as me 6’5 (1 meter 90), loved cars since he was little, and had a great job at a german company(I prefer it to remain a secret). My parents bought him a e36 BMW when he was 18(his first car). He modified it and it was really fast, and of course not safe. He loved that car and we both worked on it(mostly him) until late at night almost every day. He had a girlfriend in Suceava that he was dating for more than 5 years and damn he loved that girl so much.
So you guessed it that morning at 3 a.m he broke up with his girlfriend… no boss called him. He just got into the car and was heading for her.
I woke up the next day, went to his room to see he wasn’t there. Looked for my parents, they were also gone. Went out to play with my friends to find my parents upset after I came back at night.
Asked them what’s wrong and they just responded that it was just a long day.
Next day I asked them where’s my brother. They told me that he had to go to Germany and that he lost his phone. Me because I was a complete fucking idiot I believed them.
Fast forward 2 months, 4th of september 01′.
I came back from outside, my parents were in the kitchen. I took a shower and went to the dining room, to see a paper that said: death certificate “my brother name”. (Left intentional by my parents)
I lost it, I started to see black in front of my eyes as my heart was pounding as if my heart was trying to get out. I started crying and screaming, my parents came, I started cursing them, hitting my mother and father(keep in mind was 10, my force was equal to spaghetti, no damage done). I literally was a mad person, I dropped out of school for half an year due to my anger management issues during that time.
I progressively got better and better, but couldn’t forgive my parents, even now i’m still cold with them. Although masking my brothers death was a psychologist idea not theirs. He said something like: he can lose his mind if he finds out, try to let him get used to not seeing his brother first.(retarded advice if you ask me).